Freelancer Keeps Strict Work/Sleep Separation in Bed

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St. LOUIS, MISSOURI

Upon walking into the office/bedroom of 26 year old freelancer Morris Balmhorn, one can see a disciplined attempt at creating a balance between work and life. Morris, a Journalism Graduate from the University of Missouri prides himself in running a tight ship when it comes to his solopreneur business endeavors and the time he keeps for himself.

The working portion of the queen sized bed is equipped with a state of the art ergonomic back pillow with arm rests for the user to comfortably rest their elbows, as their laptop slowly overheats their crotch. The sleeping portion, however, is “streamlined for peace of mind” with all the sleeping essentials such as two pillows and a comforter.  “I guess you could call me a digital nomad, but I don’t really go anywhere. Or see anyone,” said Morris “It’s just more productive and less expensive for me too just stay at home.”

Although Morris claims the isolation from general society has been advantageous to his general productivity, there was something perturbed about the fellow. “I used to have lots of friends I would see every single day,” commented Morris, “HAHAH but I don’t really see them anymore. It’s fine, really.”

For fun, Morris enjoys the occasional Tim Ferriss podcast or if he is feeling “rowdy” he’ll watch a couple Gary Vaynerchuk Youtube videos. “Nothing fires me up more than some Gary Vee in 1080p, you know what I mean?” Morris said while extending an open palm for a high five only to grip onto our journalist’s hand for a period of six seconds. It was then that Morris interjected with another shrieked “HAHA” before putting his hands in his pockets.

We reached out to the friend we found in Morris’s Facebook profile picture (dated May 2009) for a comment. “Balmhorn?! I thought he was dead! No, seriously. All of our friends thought he was dead. How’s he been?”

Morris also has a pull-up bar built into the frame of his door.

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