Man Retweets Last Year’s New Year’s Resolutions

in News by

The holiday season spanning late November to January 1st is marked with hedonism and gluttony hidden under the guise of family time and holiday cheer. In the tail end of the holiday season, streaks of promises for self-improvement break through the muck in preparation for the new year.

As is common sense, the slate is wiped clean when the date changes a digit. One man from Austin, Texas decided to go against the grain in an unorthodox form of planning by reusing last year’s resolutions. Howard Dewey, 29, decided that going the extra mile for 2017 was just not worth it by risking double public humiliation when he re-tweeted his 2016 resolutions.

“I already put a lot of thought into 2016’s New Year’s resolution, I don’t see a reason to do that all over again,” Dewey said of his brilliant strategy of avoiding duplicate effort. “I never really got a chance to do most of the things on that list, so I guess I might as well try next year.”

Dewey commented on his progress in 2016 while briefly skimming his list, written as an iMessage to himself:

“Call family more… I called my grandma once in January but she never called me back so I guess that counts.

Act on the urge to talk to attractive women… I got back with my ex-girlfriend in February and she’s kind of…yeah.

Do yoga…yea right.

Save 20% of my annual income…let’s just stop here.”

The list continued with a dozen unaccomplished resolutions.

“This year is going to be different for a couple reasons. I tweeted it out to my 560 followers so I’ll look dumb if I fail. I’m turning 30 in November and there’s no way I want to carry my poor habits over into 30. I hopped into a $100 pool with my coworkers to see who keeps them the longest. It’s a $15 buy-in, if you’re interested.”
Best of luck to you, Howard Dewey. We wish you a Happy New Year from all of us from The Venture Crunch.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

*