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Welcome to The Venture Crunch sports archives! Here you will find articles pertaining to the wonderful world of athletics and professional sports, and industry we have set to #disrupt. So lace up your shoes, turn on your Fitbit, set your route in Google, use your stretching app to loosen those hamstrings, update your status on Facebook, Tweet about the weather, take that Instagram pic (you look better before you're all sweaty, and get on the road to greatness. We at The Venture Crunch believe that athletics are a crucial part of every #disrupters life, but only if you post about it on social media so everyone else knows athletics are a huge part of your life. If your app doesn't tell you how much you've ran, how will you really know? Your body will know, but your mind won't and that's what is important. Go out there and #disrupt your muscles.

Virtual Reality App Lets You Pretend You’re Eating Healthy

in Sports by

DANIA BEACH, FLORIDA

CalorieZ is a virtual reality app that helps the user envision components of their meal substituted with a variety of healthier food options ranging from kale salads, lean chicken breast, tofu, and many more. “We want to create a world where you don’t really have to eat healthy to eat healthy,” commented Founder Orin Obst. “We had that ‘Aha!’ moment when we turned a Chalupa into a piece of celery.”

As far as any difficulties in developing the app, CPO Lenz Obst said “We still haven’t figured out how to make broccoli. We’ve got our best minds behind it. We keep making trees.” But this hasn’t stopped the massive interest, the app currently has a waiting list of over 15,000 eager customers and is thought to be one of a huge win for body positivity enthusiasts around the country.

For a monthly subscription fee of $39.50, CalorieZ premium organizes the user’s meals into an elegant and classy platter comparable to a five star healthy meal. It also allows users to take a snapshot of their meal and automatically post it to their social media accounts with hashtags such as: #everbodyisbeautiful #fitfam #EatClean #Paleo #Crossfit.

“Unbelievable… I just finished eating some Loaded Chili Cheese Fries from Checkers, but as far as my eyes are concerned I just had a handful of almonds and grapes!” said one clearly satisfied user by the name of Derrick Myers.

“Am I eating a Double Whopper, or apple slices and peanut butter? Haha! Obviously I know what I’m doing to my body but it’s nice to pretend.” said Stacy Fuller.

CalorieZ works on all VR headsets including the Oculus Rift, HTC Vive, and Google Cardboard. The brilliant minds behind CalorieZ are working on another virtual app that lets users see an athletic version of themselves in any mirror.

2016 Olympic Fencing Teams to Use Selfie Sticks

in Sports by

RIO DE JANEIRO

The 2016 Summer Olympics fencing competitions are set to kick off with a last minute marginal change in the equipment. Due to heightened security to keep the Olympic games as safe as possible the traditional foil, épée, and sabre swords have been prohibited from entering the games arena.

“Safety is, and always will be our number one concern. Granted, we voted to put the Olympics in one of the most dangerous cities in the world to shake things up,” The International Olympic Committee commented, “But this is the right step forward. This gives us the perfect opportunity to pilot our Facebook Live Stream from the player’s point of view.”

The Olympic Games will without a doubt draw in huge crowds, but fencing enthusiasts around the country are enraged. Fencing has been around since the 18th century and is held in the highest regards among society’s elite. The artistry of these real life duels brings the spirit of Medieval one on one combat, but now with a twist of 2016.

The players, however, have a mixed palate of opinions ranging from optimistically apathetic, to outright incensed.

“They don’t really give much way… but I’ve got one at home that can do an extending sort of motion. It’ll be a good way to do a surprise attack I think.”

Naito Miura, of Japan.

“I don’t know why I’ve spent so many countless hours training with a sabre to have to deal with this shit. These selfie sticks are absolutely nothing like what we’ve been training with. Now I’ve got to switch up my whole style of play only a few days out? Fuck!”

Julius Gonzalez, of the Portugal.

“First they have us staying within walking distance of the favelas, and now I can’t even have my sword? How am I supposed to defend myself? Forget the Olympics, man, if we’re going to be in the Hunger Games at least give us a fighting chance!”

Leanna Calvo, of the United States.

The athletes will have the choice of three different selfie sticks of different lengths, weight, and grip. China, as per vote by the International Olympic Committee will have to use their locally made shitty selfie sticks that have been falling apart all around the globe.

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