In what the Tesla is calling “The ultimate solution to the world’s race and energy problems,” Elon Musk announced the release of Solar Panel Skin.
The grey skinsuit works the same way all solar panels do, but essentially gives human beings the ability to conduct photosynthesis. “We want to give human beings the power to create energy, rather than be constantly using it. We let our imaginations run wild. Solar Panel Skin people can utilize their generated energy to power their homes, their cars, or even their bodies and eliminate the need for food, but we know that most people will probably just use it to charge their phones,” said Chief Engineer behind Solar Panel Skin Mischa Gopnikov.
Not only will the grey scaled skin suit create energy, it is believed to quell racial tensions. “When coming up with the sleek grey color scheme for the skin cells, we blurred all major ethnicities together and got this cool, slimy grey complexion,” said Chief Designer Elliott Senzaki. In the vision Tesla has for the future, human beings themselves will be integrated with the power grid to utilize the sun to its full potential. Tesla’s humans will be able to go for a walk and produce enough charge to power a household for 24 hours, or run a Macbook Pro with 12 tabs open on Google Chrome for 30 minutes.
The mechanics behind the Solar Panel Skin is marvelous in its own right. Through Tesla’s proprietary engineering, they have managed to fuse solar cells with active skin cells. It is assumed that Elon Musk himself came up with the idea after a brisk walk through his favorite greenhouse. Tesla engineers have kept the project under a veil of secrecy, but a few rumors state that several engineers were forced to mate with different types of plants.
Tesla has been working on these skin suits for a few years, and they are projected to be released in Spring 2017.